Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
