How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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