I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He literally asked permission to hit on me
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
