I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize