I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
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bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
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Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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