I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
