can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
