My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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