so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
