i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
