I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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