The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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