Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize