You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
