I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
