dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
whose ass print is on the piano?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
