Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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