i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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