dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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