he thought i was a dude.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
