Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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