Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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