even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
