So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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