Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize