Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
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My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize