You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize