girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
