8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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