I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
