Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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