so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just high enough for therapy.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
