After last night, I could never be a politician.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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