I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize