whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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