I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
