either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
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