Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now

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(818): View more from California

people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.

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(909): View more from California

dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."

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(954): View more from Florida

Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.

(1-954): View more from Florida

Pathetic yet considerate

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(512): View more from Texas

Stop making fun of my hookups!

(1-512): View more from Texas

Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!

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