Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
