Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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