So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
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This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
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It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
