Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize