I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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