So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
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Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
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Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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