I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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