just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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