You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize