I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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