my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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