He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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