I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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