it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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