This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
