I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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