we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Randomize
