So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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