Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
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I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
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Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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