Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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