"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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