you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
